Gag Bikes
Way back in 1988 when I was collecting my new TDR250 from the local bike dealer, I noticed a strange little bike parked
next to the counter. It looked like a GSX-R designed for a small child. The dealer said it was brand new, for
sale at £999 (+ VAT !), and could be registered and ridden legally on the road. He gave me a leaflet which explained
that Suzuki GB had brought in a strictly-limited 100 bikes from Japan and were intending to sell them to collectors and to
race teams to use as pit bikes. Painted in GSX-R-style blue/white, the bike was actually designated RB50, and had an
aircooled four-stroke single engine with 4 conventional gears. Although very cute, I'd already bought enough new
bikes that day so promptly forgot all about it, until years later when I took my GSX-R1100M to the GSX-R Festival at Brands
Hatch in August 2001. Proudly displayed on the Suzuki Owners Club stand was another RB50. And it still looked
cute...
Suzuki had given their RB50 the official nickname 'Gag', presumably to highlight the not-entirely-serious nature of the
bike. In similar vein, the 'SACS' logo common to all oil-cooled GSX-R's had been subtly changed to 'Suzuki Advanced
Comical System' on the little one. In Japan, it was also available in 3 alternative paint schemes, all light-hearted
compared to their full-size bikes : a USAF Bomber-inspired theme, a pink 'Rabbit Racing Team' version and a red one with
'SUZ' written large on one side and 'UKI' on the other !
The word 'Gag' has since become unofficially applied to all of the half-sized bikes, irrespective of
manufacturer. You mean there are others ? Yes, Yamaha produced an aircooled two-stroke mini-bike called 'YSR'
in both 50 and 80cc forms, followed by a more advanced liquid-cooled TZM50R. This later engine was also used in a
mini-bike version of the TDR in both 50 and 80cc variants. Honda followed suit with water-cooled NSR's in both 50 and
80cc. Kawasaki too ? Not really - although they'd had commercial success with the monkey-bike-style MT1 and
KV75 back in the 70's, their later attempts were the KS-I (50) and KS-II (80) which were basically a road-legal
mini-motocrosser and not really a replica of any of their full-size models at all. These evolved into the KSR80 (2
stroke) and now KSR110 (4 stroke) which is still in production. Did Suzuki ever make a two-stroke RG
mini-replica ? Not as such, although there was a version of the Gag called the 'Solifer', made for the Finnish market
with a fairly crude two-stroke motor. What about monkey bikes then ? Hmm. Well, although there are
obvious similarities in terms of size and performance, like the KSR's they're not small-scale replica's of proper bikes and
are really a cult niche all on their own. And mini-moto's and pocketbikes don't count as they're not road-legal,
whether they're the dedicated racing machines or the cheap lawnmower-engined kids toys that annoy the police so much.
So you're some sort of expert on these things then ? No, not at all, I don't know anything really. They seemed
to be woefully under-recognised on the internet so we thought we'd give 'em a home here
on Diff'rent Strokers (yes, even the four-strokes) and see if we could tease a few out
of their hiding places. A couple of months later, someone else had the same idea and launched a
UK-based Gag Bike Forum. So it looked like
it was about time I bought one...
A visit to the Donington Classic Bike Show saw my wife fall for a white/blue TDR50 for sale on the StinkWheels
stand. She decided to mull it over, went back an hour later to buy it, only to see some bloke wheeling it
away. Doh ! Thus began her search for a mini-TDR, seeing two more white ones lost out to higher bidders on
Ebay, and some long and protracted negotiations with an odd bike dealer who was advertising a yellow one but seemingly
didn't really want to sell it. In the meantime, I spotted a pair of poor-condition and incomplete RB50's for sale at
the Stafford Classic Show, but my estimate of their collective worth was several hundred pounds short of what he was
asking. I almost bought a TZM50R spotted on the Gag Bike forum but couldn't get past the shoddy
bodywork. Although I sort of wish I'd bought it now...
And then it appeared on Ebay - an NSR50, UK-registered with tax and MOT. I spoke to the seller's Dad, got a good
feeling about it and put a bid in. And won ! Argh - I've bought my first Honda ! It was only mine for
about 10 minutes though, 'cos as soon as I showed my wife the pictures, she claimed it for herself. A week later we
hired a van and did a 500-mile round trip to collect it. It was actually the daily transport of a 16-year-old called
Grant (hence the L-plates), who used it to get to college during the week and show off to girls at the weekend. He'd
bought it from BAT Motorcycles 18 months earlier and said they were a useful resource for advice and spare parts. As
it was an Ebay purchase the deal was already done of course, but Grant suggested one of us took it for a quick spin round
the block anyway. Sara bottled it, so with a borrowed helmet off I went. Once moving, it felt like a normal
bike - the only strange feeling was when trying to do a U-turn in the road.
Although cosmetically a bit tatty, Grant and his Dad had spared no expense making sure it was well-maintained and safe, and
a fistful of receipts showed the bike had been professionally serviced a couple of times and received new chain/sprockets,
fork seals, head bearings, clutch, battery, fuel-tap and brake pads in the last year. 7 months tax and MOT left to go
means we can run it around a bit while slowly tidying it up. Removing the L-plates was the first job of course, along
with the tankpad and a few aftermarket stickers. Taking the seat-unit off to rectify it's poor fit revealed some kind
of derestrictor or tuning black-box under the seat. There are some obvious scuffs and worn paint on the frame and
brackets that can be easily rectified, but the fairing and tailpiece are not actually painted, it's just stickers over
white moulded plastic so it could be tricky to rectify the bodywork blemishes. The bellypan is damaged too and held
together - just - with a cable tie. But it'll be fun sorting it all out and showing it off. I quickly knocked
together a little wooden paddock stand for it which should do the job until we can find a proper one from
somewhere. Now I just need to get a Gag bike for myself...
Whilst idly looking at the pictures on here, I realised why the tailpiece didn't look quite right. Instead of being
plain white there should be yellow number panels like on the front fairing. I'd recently spoken to a local chap
called Dave who was starting up a bike painting and graphics business, so I popped round for a couple of hours to watch
him in action with his vinyl cutter. And what a smart job he's made, especially considering the filthy state of the
bodywork I took round !
Sara hadn't really ridden the bike properly yet so one sunny Friday afternoon we headed for the back roads, her on the
NSR and me on her 250 Hornet. The Gag took a while before it stopped churning out loads of smoke but once warmed up
it seemed to clear itself and was zipping along at 50mph quite happily. After a few miles we stopped and swapped
bikes. Laughing like an idiot, I took off and whizzed through the gears. As before, it feels like a 'normal'
bike once you're moving, but falls into corners quickly so you end up modifying your line a lot until you get used to
it. Stopping to wait for the emptying school bus caused a gaggle of kids to point with disbelief ! On my
favourite local road, the speedo needle flew past the final 60kmh mark, past the speed warning LED and ended up covering
the odometer - this equates to about 80kmh, confirmed at 55mph by Sara on the Hornet. The tacho was indicating about
11000rpm, still a little short of the redline. I reckon a genuine 60mph is easily available, assuming you can stand
the tingling through the seat...
Once home, I spotted that the clutch cable had gone slack. It seems to have been routed through the wrong side of the
frame, but was temporarily fixed using a cable-tie to hold it in place. Some foam card was then used to tidy up the
old clock-surround, and the top-yoke painted gloss black to cover the damage caused by jangling keys in the past. One
or two other scabby bits were given a hasty touch-up and the horrible bar-ends consigned to the bin. The bike will
be on display on the Diff'rent Strokers stand at Uttoxeter (July 7/8th) and a proper restoration can wait for next winter.
The NSR50 got a lot of attention at the VJMC Show, helped by parking it alongside a nice YSR80 owned by Andy
Peirson. Dave and Garry from the Gag Bike Forum popped along to chat and hopefully it's stirred up a bit of interest. Maybe one
or two more will appear out of hiding now ?
The other bikes in the garage take turns to have their batteries topped up by an
Optimate charger, so I bought another lead to fit to the NSR. The unusual battery connections meant I had to adapt
the wiring but it works OK and sits unobtrusively under the tailpiece. Prior to this, the voltage was down to 5.9V
which made me think it was only a 6V battery - no, just a very flat 12V one ! The neutral light is more like a laser
beam now.
The Stafford show provided another opportunity to show the NSR off, where it was joined by Ben Jewell's lovely Marlboro
YSR50. Dave and Garry popped by again to say hello, and the Gags proved a magnet to both kids and childish adults
all weekend.
There's been a few RB50's for sale recently, but either they were too much money or they'd been repainted in horrible
colours (eg. Rizla, eh Darin !). I would still like one though, particularly as the garage is now home to its' big
brother. I picked up a very cheap top fairing for one with a view to making a twin-headlight conversion but I don't
know how this will look. There's no hurry though.
I've also acquired some spare bodywork for the NSR - a top fairing and seat-unit from Jersey, fairing sides from two
separate UK breakers and a front mudguard and tank (with new tap) from Japan. All different colours of course, but
undamaged. If it was my bike then it'd be getting a Rothmans paintjob, but Sara doesn't like it and it's her
bike ! After discussing a few options we settled on Nastro Azzurro.
But before all that, a trip to the Bristol Classic Show and Ben's two lovely
YSR50's on the Diff'rent Strokers stand. Not to mention off the stand - Ben kindly let us all ride them round the
showground when the public had gone home. They're faster than they look ! Shortly after this Darin acquired a
YSR80 for himself and a plan to put on a Gag Grand Prix theme at the next show was agreed.
Time to get cracking with Project NaStRo then. I sketched something based on the 2000-season NSR500 and sent it off
to ImageWorks. They did a great job of
producing a scaled-down decal set very quickly indeed. I asked a local mate (Dave, the bloke that did the vinyl
numberboards) if he'd be willing to paint it and he said yes. He advised me to fit all the spare bodywork to address
any fit problems and so it'd be easier to get the design to line up. Good job he did...
I've discovered that the 'new' top fairing is from a Mk.1 NSR. I didn't even know they were different, but although
they look the same, close inspection of the brochures shows the Mk.1 has different indicators with much bigger mounting
holes. Not only that, but the Mk.1 has dinky little mirrors with 3 mounting holes as opposed to the later stalk type
with a single hole. There's no hole for the speedo cable on the Mk.1 and even more weirdly, the screen has 7 screw
holes on the Mk.1 and only 6 on the Mk.2. These are fairly trivial problems but will all need to be
overcome. To compound the bad news, it was while drilling mounting holes for the new front mudguard that I spotted
that it appears to be designed for a slightly bigger diameter front wheel. And is also too narrow for the forks so
will need spacing out. Why can't anything be straightforward ?
Mick on the Gag forum kindly sent me some pictures showing how the indicators are mounted on his Mk.1
NSR80. With this information, I ordered a pair of those aftermarket 'flush' indicators and when they arrived I was
pleased to discover that they cover the hole perfectly. I should be able to fashion some brackets like Mick's out
of a bit of ally strip. Dave came over one Saturday night too and we spent a while deciding exactly how the Nastro
design would best fit the bike. He marked up some guide lines with masking tape and we played around with some of
the decals until we agreed on how it should look.
All I needed to do now was a bit of bodywork prep. Firstly I managed to remove the remaining stickers from the
fairing sides, then I used some plastic card to cover the extra mirror holes on the top bit, glueing some nylon washers in
to strengthen the mounts. The seat unit has a nasty lengthways gap when fitted but there's really no need for it to
be a 2-piece panel so I superglued the crack together and then fibreglassed it underneath for strength. Then I filled
the holes and scuffs with P38 and sanded everything down ready for paint. I didn't make a very good job of it
actually and as I was running out of time, Dave came round again, took some pictures for reference and then took all the
bodywork away along with the sticker set to finish it all off. Exciting !
In the meantime, the NSR passed it's MOT, to the amusement of the boys at the local bike shop who'd never seen one
before. And I've acquired some more RB50 parts to go with that top fairing...
They came with the RB50 I've just bought. Garry decided he wasn't making enough use of his 'HyperGag' and knew I
fancied it. So we arranged a deal. It's taxed with a fresh MOT and he threw in all the original parts including
the engine. He even delivered it !
Original engine ? Yes, it's now fitted with a 120cc ThumpStar engine with a K&N filter and a Takegawa 'Bomber'
exhaust. Neat bespoke brackets have been made so it's all perfectly reversible, but why would you want to struggle
to top 30mph when you can do almost twice that ? It's also got a lovely pair of Takegawa clocks, mini indicators and
has been converted to 12v electrics too.
Aw ! Dunnit look cute next to it's big brother ?
When I got the chance, I pulled some of the bodywork off the RB to see what was underneath. Not much ! I tied
on the exhaust heatshield properly and spaced the fairing out at the bottom so it shouldn't melt the plastic. I also
fitted an Optimate lead and swapped some of the gold anodised fasteners for plain alloy ones. I touched up the black
paint on the gearlever and engine covers and I also repaired a loose wire in the fairing but sadly it hasn't made the
revcounter work properly. Full marks to Garry for splicing the two different looms together but I think I need to
tidy up that birds nest of wiring soon...
The bodywork's still being painted on the NSR and I haven't made a start on tarting up the rest of the bike to suit
yet. I did acquire a set of genuine Mk.1 NSR front indicators although one of them is broken and so needs a bracket
making up somehow. And I eventually managed to get a new screen - I didn't think it would be so difficult or
expensive but at least it's here now. Hope I don't crack it drilling the mounting holes !
A sunny Sunday saw us fire up both mini-bikes and go for a spin. First proper riding impressions of the RB aren't
good - it'll hit 80kph (probably more) but it feels like it's shaking itself apart doing it. Having no previous
experience of 4-stroke singles I was shocked by how crude it felt. We only did about 15 miles total but I wouldn't
fancy going much further. Engine transplant No.2 I think - RG125 or something this time. Naturally the NSR
was fine, and we swapped bikes for a bit so Sara could try the Suzuki. She preferred the power delivery of the
thumper but couldn't get on with the tiny riding position or the upside-down gearshift.
So how's Project NaStRo coming along ? Well, Dave popped over with the painted panels and we spent a whole day
putting the stickers on, before he took them away again for the final coats of clear lacquer. Photos ? No, I
took some but you'll have to wait for the offical unveiling at the VJMC Show. In the meantime I managed to make an
effective bracket for the damaged indicator and drilled the mounting holes for the screen - scary ! I also got a new
small numberplate made up and fitted that along with some nice black bar-ends. Sadly I haven't been able to find any
new mirrors that suit the bike though.
The exhaust was really letting the bike down, being pretty rusty in places and with evidence of some crash damage. I
removed it, stripped the rust off with a wire brush, filled some of the dings and scratches with Chemical Metal, sanded it
then sprayed it with Plasti-Kote BBQ paint (as recommended by the LC boys). Not forgetting to mask off the welded-on
alloy sleeve over the silencer of course, which was then polished. It still doesn't look like new now, but it's a lot
better than it was.
Despite a last-minute scare when the decals reacted with the final coats of lacquer, the NSR was put back together just
in time to be on display at the VJMC Uttoxeter Show, alongside my RB50, another one in Rizla colours, a Gauloises YSR80
and Mick's lovely NSR80, which he was still painting the night before the show !
Not much has happened to either bike since then, apart from the purchase of a pair of RB sidepanels which will hopefully
clean up enough to replace those currently fitted - the RH one that's on has a big annoying square cut out of it to
accomodate a previous exhaust bracket. Oh, and I've taxed it again - can't argue with £15/year really. Some
time was spent adjusting the clutch on the NSR as it seems to drag sometimes.
In October, the RB was dug out again and just managed to squeeze into a LWB hi-roof Transit for the trip down to Stafford
for the Classic Mechanics Japanese Show. Darin's Rizla Gag featured again, on a
stand themed to honour special guest Kevin Schwantz. Who just happened to pop by and autograph both bikes ! We
saw a TDR50 for sale in the autojumble and Sara was dead keen to buy it, until we did a bit of digging and decided to run
a mile instead because (reason deleted on legal advice). It remained unsold...
Ben on the PB Forum said he had a rare piece of GSX-R
memorabilia up for grabs, to anyone who could prove they were a true GSX-R anorak. I had a go at it, but thought I'd
been outplayed by people who'd gone further by dyeing their cat blue/white or renaming their daughter 'SRAD'. But no,
I was told I'd won and sure enough, a padded envelope arrived containing one of the jackets given out to journalists at the
model launch in Japan a couple of years ago. It's size XXL, and not really the kind of thing I'd have bought with my
own money, but I said I'd pose for a pic so here it is...
